female, nineteen, aspiring rcmp officer.
little by little, you're just letting yourself become [you].
I think she was afraid to love sometimes.
I think it scared her.
She was the type to like things that were concrete, like the ocean. Something you could point to and know what it was... And I think that's why she also struggled with love. She couldn't touch it. She couldn't hold on to it and make sure it never changed.
i didn’t really eat much until supper time, and that was when colton made me stop at the caf and get some food. i ended up getting a huge breakfast plate with toast, eggs, bacon and hashbrowns and i found a bottle of coke in my backpack as well. i ate all of this and still felt empty, so i went back and got a big slice of a chocolate brownie with icing. yet, i still felt empty.
i came home a few hours later and ate a big plate of home fries and shake n’ bake chicken because i was still hungry. i thought it was a good idea, seeing as how i barely eat anything, but i checked myself before i went to go shower and i was up six pounds.
what the hell? why do i feel so fat, and why am i disgusted with myself?